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Gonzo on Thursday

Date Published: 05-09-2019

The Gonzo Daily: Thursday

Well, so the research team headed by renowned New Zealand scientist Prof. Neil Gemmell has finally published their findings. They have been teasing the media and the general public for months saying that their sampling of water from the lake, and the subsequent testing for DNA have produced the most accurate report yet of the fauna of loch Ness. They then said that whilst they have disproved most of the theories behind the Loch Ness monster, one theory remains plausible.

Of course newspapers around the world have taken that to mean that they have proved the existence of the Loch Ness monster. Well, they haven’t. What they have done is disprove several of the theories, although two of those aforementioned theories were totally ludicrous in the first place. Therefore, the news that there are no giant sharks or prehistoric reptiles living in Loch Ness is about as impressive as my announcement today that there are no giraffes living in my garden. The announcement that they found no DNA from European catfish or from Sturgeon is far more interesting, because both of those were quite plausible candidates for the identity of the Loch Ness monster.

The announcement that there are eels living in Loch Ness is no surprise to anyone. They have been living there, and everyone has known that they were living there for a long long time. Therefore, my and Richard’s theory that the Loch Ness monster, if it exists, has to be a giant eel, comes as no surprise, especially to Me and Richard. Although, some quite impressive footage of what does appear to be a giant eel surfaced this week from the webcam of the Ness District Salmon Fisheries Board, and apart from the synchronicity of this turning up within days of Professor Gemmell’s announcement, this does lend weight to the giant eel theory.

I have been approached by several BBC radio stations to comment on this, and it all depends on my mental health at the time whether I play it for laughs or not.

You guys recently did massive amounts of praying for Corinna, and in February, at least, she appeared to be cancer free. I am convinced that these two things are related, with the outpouring of good vibes transmitted electronically, being a little like a Tibetan prayer flag. Having used it once to such good effect - I want to try it on a larger scale. I am still trying to work out the details, so watch this space.

Find out more:…

Blessed be.

ALL TODAY'S GONZO NEWS WOT'S FIT TO PRINT:…/the-gonzo-track-of-…
THE GONZO TRACK OF THE DAY: Nico - Janitor of luna...…/kate-rusbys-guided-…
Kate Rusby's Guided Walk…/dave-brock-intervie…
Dave Brock Interview…/george-harrison-on-…
George Harrison on John Lennon and The Beatles | T...
a href="…/thom-world-poet-dai…


And the CFZ Privacy Policy is here:
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Our webTV show:
And if you fancy supporting it on Patreon:

And by the way chaps and chappesses, a trip to the Jon Downes megastore may seem to be in order:…/a-notion-of-shopkeepers…
Meanwhile I continue to pretend that I am a popstar, because now I have sold eight whole copies of my new album Coldharbour. If I continue at this rate I will get a silver disc sometime at the beginning of the next millenium. Coldharbour, by the way, can be found here:

I think it is really rather good, but then again I would say that wouldn't I?


Gonzo Weekly #351/2

In this peculiarly psychedelic issue we meet the lovely Melanie S Jane, Alan goes to see Andrew Weatherall and Luke Vibert , Doug critiques Simple Minds, Kev meets the Bob Lazar Story, Graham brings us news of the new Hawkwind album, Jon watches the Beatles-based fantasyfisck Yesterday, and describes the new book by Green Rupert Read. And there is oodles more...

Groovy eh?

Hail Eris!

And there are radio shows from Mack Maloney and Friday Night Progressive AND Strange Fruit, there are columns from Kev Rowland and Mr Biffo, C J Stone, and Roy Weard, but Neil Nixon and the irrepressible Corinna are on hiatus. There is also a collection of more news, reviews, views, interviews and antichinuses who have lost their shoes (OK, nothing to do with tiny marsupials who are searching for their footwear, but I got carried away with things that rhymed with OOOOS) than you can shake a stick at. And the best part is IT's ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!

This issue features:

Yesterday, The Buddha of Suburbia, Rick Wakeman, Arthur Brown, Jon Anderson, Raymone Bain, Michael Jackson, Shaun Ryder, Ozzy Osbourne, Noel Gallagher, Paradise 9, Essra Mohawk, Richard Freeman, Strange Fruit, Friday Night Progressive, Canterbury Sans Frontieres, Mack Maloney's Mystery Hour, Anne Grete Preus, Fulati Gidali, Celso Piña Arvizu, Mikhail Borisovich Romanov, Samuel Lawrence Taylor, Peter Henry Fonda, Ange Didier Houon, Freddy Bannister, (sometimes written as Freddie Bannister), Reb Foster (Born James Dennis Bruton, Neal Casal, Mitch Podolak, The Fall, The Fall's Mark E Smith and Ed Blaney, John Denver with the Mitchell Trio, Man, Justin Hayward, Nico, Michael Bruce, Kev Rowland, Matt Deacon, Bob Lazar, Melanie S Jane, Doug Harr, Simple Minds, Alan Dearling, Acid Ketchup, Luke Vibert, Andy Weatherall's Solstice Weekend, Greenrose Faire, Odin's Court, Twelfth Night, Tony Klinger, C J Stone, Graham Inglis, Hawkwind, Jonathan Downes, The Wild Colonial Boy, Martin Springett, "This Civilisation is Finished", Rupert Read, Bon Iver,
Samuel Alexander

And the last few issues are:

Issue 353-4 (Melanie S Jane)
Issue 351-2 (Royal Affair)…/gonzo-351-2-fvxuatzgf.html
Issue 349-50 (Experimental Sonic Machines)
Issue 347-8 (Gary Duncan)
Issue 345-6 (RDF)
Issue 343-4 (Auburn)
Issue 341-42 (America)
Issue 339-40 (Kev Rowland)
Issue 337-38 (Zee)
Issue 335-36 (Raz)
Issue 333-34 (Nepal)
Issue 331-32 (Scott Walker)

All issues from #70 can be downloaded at if you prefer. If you have problems downloading, just email me and I will add you to the Gonzo Weekly dropbox. The first 69 issues are archived there as well. Information is power chaps, we have to share it!

You can download the magazine in pdf form HERE:

SPECIAL NOTICE: If you, too, want to unleash the power of your inner rock journalist, and want to join a rapidly growing band of likewise minded weirdos please email me at The more the merrier really.

* The Gonzo Daily is a two way process. If you have any news or want to write for us, please contact me at If you are an artist and want to showcase your work, or even just say hello please write to me at Please copy, paste and spread the word about this magazine as widely as possible. We need people to read us in order to grow, and as soon as it is viable we shall be invading more traditional magaziney areas. Join in the fun, spread the word, and maybe if we all chant loud enough we CAN stop it raining. See you tomorrow...

* The Gonzo Daily is - as the name implies - a daily online magazine (mostly) about artists connected to the Gonzo Multimedia group of companies. But it also has other stuff as and when the editor feels like it. The same team also do a weekly newsletter called - imaginatively - The Gonzo Weekly. Find out about it at this link:

* We should probably mention here, that some of our posts are links to things we have found on the internet that we think are of interest. We are not responsible for spelling or factual errors in other people's websites. Honest guv!

* Jon Downes, the Editor of all these ventures (and several others) is an old hippy of 59 who - together with a Jack Russell called Archie, an infantile orange cat named after a song by Frank Zappa, three other cats, one totally coincidentally named after one of the Manson Family, purely because she squeaks, puts it all together from a converted potato shed in a tumbledown cottage deep in rural Devon which he shares with various fish. He is ably assisted by his lovely wife Corinna, his elderly mother-in-law, and a motley collection of social malcontents. Plus.. did we mention Archie and the Cats?


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